Ho Ho Ho?

Merry Christmas, people. Or happy holidays, if you celebrate something else. :)

But the real reason I've came back isn't (just) to say "Merry Christmas" to anyone who might come here. Since I'm so messed up and etc., there is always something going on in my life. Some things are quite good. :)
Some things are quite bad.

No, I haven't suddenly got involved in some crime or stuff. I'm just very sad... because it's Christmas. Again. And I'm alone. Again.

How much more do I have to pretend that I'm happy when I'm forced to spend holidays with my family (they're not so bad, it's just... arrrrgh) instead of being with my boyfriend?

Not that I have one, though.

But still.

I went out last week in a new night club in town. Atmosphere was... great. Maybe little too... I don't know... girlie. But fine. And music was great - it's sort of rock night club, with black massive leather chairs :) But it has pink curtains and some weird pink, Barbie-like, tall, ugly waitress. :o

Not so good, ha?

But no matter how many people were there, I was so lonely. And no matter how much I love my family, there is a kind of love they just cannot give me.

I have to get a lover. Immediately.

Well, merry Christmas. And don't drink too much. =D

Eyes on me

I used to be happy with whatever I had. Than I fell in love with someone who changed my whole life. But, you see, it's been two years ago - and he still doesn't know that I loved him. And that I still do. Life is funny sometimes.

Right when you think it's all about to settle down, your life gets all mixed up and scary because you can't control a single thing and suddenly some other things start to happen - so, you see, I get pretty much lost in my life. But that's okay. Life is unpredictable.

But still.

I would really like to have control on some things. At least I would have something to do. =)